My mom recently had a monumental birthday, so I felt it was fitting to write her a monumental birthday song to go along with it. It probably won’t do much for you if you don’t know my mom, but what the heck…here goes:

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Older Than You (4mb)

If you asked me to tell you all the people I know
Who are 60 years and older
I’d think real hard and I’d scratch my head
And then I’d shrug my shoulders

But I don’t want you to be feeling sad
And I don’t want you to feel blue
So I made a list of some people and things
That are much older than you

God, the earth, Adam and Eve,
Sun, moon, dirt and trees
The universe and its colonization,
Kingdoms, wars and constipation

Lightning and electricity
Ants, mosquitoes, flies and fleas
Water, fire, rain and soup,
Bananas, apples, oranges and poop

It’s easy to see and it’s easy to do
Everywhere you look there’s a lotta stuff older than you

(Instrumental)

Daisy Duke and Robert DeNiro
You’re just a little older then Richard Gere-o
The guy from Britain who invented glue
And “Babbwa Wawwa” from the View

Shirley Temple and the Little Rascals
Buckwheat, Spanky, Darla, Alfalfa (all dead!)
George H. Bush and Adam West
Dolly Parton and her chest

It’s easy to see and it’s easy to do
Everywhere you look there’s a lotta stuff older than you
Everywhere you look there’s a lotta stuff older than you